There Is Always Hope

30 April 2011

Just A Simple Week of my Life~

Okay, stories starting in 3........ 2........ 1......

Hmmmm , this was okay okay lah.

Monday , nothing special.

Except the assembly took a long time until recess because got those "Kempen Keselamatan Jalan Raya" which kinda boring .

Tuesday.

After so long , the gang finally play futsal like our last year's tradition.

Uhhhh , i suck weyh after long time never play.

It was a great day and funny though. Why ? Coz we all laughed our ass off when that indian guy (which again i forgot his name) ter-backflipped when he's trying to get high ball , and one more coz his shoe was soaked in MUD !!!!!! xD

Then Zayd went to Picadilly . Followed by Kent later on.

I wanna go , but uhhhh , tah lah. My dad also came early -.-

Wednesday.

Another normal day again at school and study much.

After school got Interact Meeting , but i went for awhile only.

And it's kinda wasting my time coz my name are not even in the list for those running for a post in the B.O.D .... So , after this i'll just wait until i get installed as normal member and not so active lah o.e ....

Then, went SA again to teach BSMM kawad with Josh , Rahmat and Zaidy.

When i was i teaching the juniors "dari kanan nombor" , somehow after that they laughed which i don't know. So i laughed too lah. AND AND AND , i didn't know that one of the junior i teached was my sister's friend. The next day she told my sis "wehh , abang kau kelakar lah. Dia suruh kitorang senyap , tapi dia pulak yang gelak" .... WTHH weyh ?!?!?!?! O.O ....... i gotta be careful next time >_> ...

After kawad , went touring the school with Josh and thanks for belanja me ice cream , lol xD

Thursday.

Uhmmmm , nothing to say about that day.

It's just a plain boring school day.

Friday (yesterday).

Nothing much also.

Cept , had a great time playing Basketball with Hing , Arif , Rahmat , Zayd , Athreya , Haziq and Jon. It's been a while since i last played bball seriously.

Sweat a lot and yet , Mr. Mah didn't let us wear PJ shirt during Chemistry -.- ...

Went to Friday prayer and guess what ?!?!?!?!??!?!!

A standard 5 girl trying to cari gaduh with me !!

I was walking towards the masjid, and she was like "Wooiiii. *stick tongue out* apa pandang pandang ahhh ??!??! " .... i was like "wtf ?!?!??!" and i just walked away -.- ...

Well , thats all about this passed weekdays.

See ya!

posted at [1:00 AM]

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23 April 2011

What am i turning into ?

I think i'm giving up with my life i'm having.

I'm sorry for everything.

Sometimes i don't know which is right and wrong.

The moment when i seek for help from my friend , they actually helped me.

But after that , why do i just being like nothing happens ? Like those person didn't do anything for me. I do appreciate it , but my action seems like not to.

I admit that sometimes i do trying to get other people attention.

I know some people probably have negative impression when i did that.

But in the end i realized , i don't need to be someone else to get one's attention.

I know how am i early last year.

I am much different now.

I always feel happy when i'm around them.

But now , i'm slowly being the old me.

I didn't talk much to anyone.

Everyday , i woke up in the morning , i already know that my day would be lonely like it always did for every single day of my life.

And i'm not surprise if one day , no one would even want to talk to me.......

Lately , everything that i said, it always end up as a lie or it didn't even happen.

I understand if everyone's trust on me are slowly disappearing.

I just don't know what is wrong with me.

I am being....... 'not me'.

posted at [9:02 PM]

Transformers: Dark of the Moon Super Bowl TV Spot Trailer - Official (HD)

CAN"T FUCKING WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE ^%$%#@#$#$^%&^*&(*)(*^&%^%$@#$!

posted at [2:08 AM]

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17 April 2011

Attack~

Okay , today is 17th April 2011 .

All i can say about today is its suck !

My cough and flu are getting worse.

Didn't go for today's practice . Because i don't really feel well.

All i did today was listening to songs , watched videos , chatting with kent , Facebook-ing , and Tweet :D .

It's one hell of a boring day . I should have go to practice today , so i won't stuck at home.

Day by day , i fell lonelier .

One by one people started to not talking to me.

As if like i'm slowly losing them.

My friends all always got someone to talk to . Me ? I'm always begging to talk to someone , but nahhh . Always end up being lonely.

Wished that i could just die .

Oh and one more thing .

Did i tell anyone that i got a trophy that day ?

Heee hehehe . You can see down this post for the picture of it .

*Perasan and bangga jap* :B

Well ,tomorrow Monday . School as usual .

I wanna go out again lah. But i wonder if anyone would even to go out with me D:

It suck to be me lah.

Anyway , gotta go now .

Anyone , can you please sms and talk to me ? PLEASE ! IM BEGGING YOU !

Kay , bye !

Ngehehehehe :B

posted at [6:26 PM]

Do i look okay ? Yeah ? But i'm actually not.

Theres a lot of bad things happened to me lately.

Heart broken. Loosing friends. Loosing the close ones.

I always felt down lately.

I always feel lonely.

Sometimes , no one even bother talking to me.

But for those who keep on talking to me , thanks !

School has been really boring lately. Like, seriously.

I lost my attention for study.

Some days, the class don't even lear anything.

All because of the teachers.

Cikgu Razihan ? Please lah. Can you please teach us properly. Don't just come in our class , write a little bit, then forget about everything and walk around and talk. Well , for others its fun lah , because no study. But use your brain lah. We're not learning anything from you Cikgu Razihan. Exam is coming near. Maybe this time i'm going to fail badly. Teacher , PLEASE TEACH US PROPERLY. If you don't want , then go to the office and stop being a teacher.

For Pn. Tee , i don't really know what happened to you , but please come back as soon as possible. We all need you for Mod Maths and Add Maths. You're the teacher for 2 IMPORTANT SUBJECT. Please come back.

Lately , I don't know if anyone trying to comfort me or not.

Anyway , i wanna thanks to all 4B-ians .

Thanks for understanding my feelings. Thanks for care about me.

I still remember on Monday when i walked in the class with a broken heart and really not in the mood . You guys came to me and cheer me up. I really wanna be emo for the whole day, but you guys couldn't stop saying stupid stuffs that made me laugh. Thanks yeah.

Here's what they said to me =

*Thinesh: Bro , whats wrong ? Well uhm , i don't want to busy body , but whatever happened to you, cheer up kay ?

Me: Okay bro , thanks.

Thinesh: Like everyone else would say "Everything will be alright" , so yeah , it will be alright.

*Pravin: Deyh , don't worry . Me and you , we share the same fate. So whenever you're hurt or down , i'm here. I know it's hard for you to accept it , but it's fate. No matter how hard it is , we gotta go with the flow of life .

*Kent: eyh , you okay or not ?

Me: Errrr , no . *starts talking about my stories*

Kent: *ignore about my stories and starts with his stories pulak* Fuck it lah . Fuck him . Fuck the world . I want to die !!!!!

Me: okay okay , we die together xD

*Zayd: You okay ahhh ?

Me: errrr , i guess so.

Zayd: *starts to poke me or molest me*

Me: *laughs* woiii , don't be gay with me ! xD

Welll uhmm yeah . Thats what happen at school most of the time.

Haih, sometimes i just couldn't believe that its over now.

I wonder why it need to end like this.

I wonder why he appear in our life and took everything.

I hope you'll be happy with him.

I'll move on. But i still love you kay.

Cheer up !

posted at [1:36 AM]

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15 April 2011

Birthday Hangout~

Date: 10th April 2011

Day: Sunday

Venue: Sunway Pyramid.

First of all , Happy Birthday to Sylvia and Khai Ying !! ^^

Had one of the great day!

Went to Sunway Pyramid with all the gang after didn't hang out for so long.

First they all said the was = (copied from the event page)

1) Bowling (canceled)
2)Arcade / Archery
3) Red Box
4) Dream world
5) Lunch in Mr. Tempanyaki or Gasoline
6) Tutti Fruitti / Baskin Robins

(copied from the event page)

But in the end , we only went =

Arcade
AMP Square (karaoke place)
Lunch at Mr. Tempanyaki

Even though everything not really following the agenda , but it was still a great day.

In the morning before i reached Sunway , i woke up late at 8.

I promised Zayd and Siva to wait for me at the bus stop near my grandma house.

It end up i sampai there at 8.30 , even though it took about 5 minutes to walk there xD .

Then once reached Sunway , Zayd suddenly hungry .___. ... He and Siva had McDonald for breakfast.

The ice ring was seriously tempting me to skate.

Then 3 of us went ice-skate from 9.20 until 10.40 !!! Fun weyh , there was like less than 10 people inside the ice ring . But Siva, he only skate for 10 minutes = = . Why ? Coz he can't skate. Waste money only = = .

Then went out from the ice ring , and saw Ky and Sylvia already there with Victor and so called Darth Vader ? .____. :D .

Then we all wait for everyone to come near the cinema.

And they all spread out for awhile , some going there , going here. Some stays. Me, i walked alone to find and buy some 'stuffs' which kinda expensive.__.

When everyone sampai already , we took some group picture of all the guys xD .

After that we all went to Mr. Tempanyaki .

First time i walked in that restaurant and saw the food they serve , i was like "oh shit , what am i going to eat here ?!?!?!??! O_O " . Coz all the food is like , i dont know lah , takde selera nak makan.

And yet , they called me as the waiter , coz of the shirt and the vest i wear.

While waiting for food, KY was 'hafal-ing' her oral speaking story about Apple .___.

Then makan makan , making jokes , laughing around , zayd was walking on the sofa , take pictures , and then........ Amy and Aiman sampai joined us :D .

Went arcade , where all the fun started !

Everyone was enjoying play all the games , shooting here and there , jumping , dancing xD .

I stopped for awhile and looking a place to sit , then saw Kent was sitting alone at the stairs.

Talked to him and try to cheer him up. Then we joined them back arcade-ing :] .

After that we're all suppose to Red Box.

But , because of some problem (which i forgot what is it) , they canceled it.

Lucky Kai knows one more place for karaoke , AMP Square :P .

On the way there , Me , kent and Pravin were lost . Lesson learnt = never leave the group xD .

The fun continues when everyone started to sing \m/ .

We're all damn crazy inside the room. Some more damn loud.

When it comes to bill , BAMMM !!!

RM322 !

Everything get little messed up a bit , after awhile okay edi . Continue karaoke-ing .

Then Dal , Pravin and Chris have to go back.

After that is the moment when she............ ermmmmm...............................................................

and my feeling flew way up to sky damn high. But i didn't know that it was yours _._._._.bye to me. And that feeling fall back to earth's core and crash :/ .

Nahhhh , don't wanna make this as a sad post kay.

But i do had good time with all my gang.

It feels good to hangout again after so long :]

Heres a group picture , but no girls in it .___.

I didn't took any picture with my camera , so takut if they marah me steal their picture and post here xD . So i just took one , hehehehe .

Well , Happy Birthday again to Sylvia and Khai Ying !!!! <3

Sweet 16 ^^

Hope there will be more hangout birthday.

posted at [11:01 PM]

Now it is left as memories. Why ?

When hopes was crashed deep down to the bottom of the sea.

When feeling was way up high to the sky and suddenly just fall back to earth, but its invincible.

When heart is being stomped by my own mistakes, and shattered to pieces.

Well , thats kinda explain what happened to me.

Lets make it clearer.

The thing i'm to say right now is straight from my heart.

No lies. No made stories. No fake. Just plain sincere from my heart.

Because my heart can no longer store it for so long.

First of all, all these time , i really loved you. And i still do until right this moment.

When everytime i said the 3 words , i really do meant it .

I don't just simply said it to you for fun.

From the starting , i know deep down in my heart says that you're the one i loved the most.

And believe it or not , that feeling has been kept in my heart for more than 1 year already.

I'm trying to tell you that I REALLY LOVE YOU .

I've never stop loving you.

Everything was fine.

Until problems came to us.

I still remember the one we had during the dance practice.

i didn't do anything to stop them. Yet, i didn't do anything to patch it back.

I know that time you probably need people to talk to.

But i was jealous because i wasn't one of them.

When this problems comes to an end, another one came out.

This one happens a few days after we hangout at McDonalds. Yeah , i still remember when , but not everything.

And yet again , i wasn't doing anything to fix the situation back.

I felt really bad when i just stand and do nothing.

It's not that i don't want to do anything. It was just i completely don't now what to do.

It was so close. Too damn close to our 1 year anniversary.

But , we didn't make it.

You said you was fed up of me. You said you was wasting your time being with me.

You were mad at me because of my shyness , because its always you do the first moves , because i have plenty of chances to fix the situation , but i didn't.

Then you broke up with me on 21st March.

Hmmmm , i remembered , on 21st March last year , was the night that i asked you the question.

Coincidentally ? I don't know.

Then , on our anniversary day , 23rd March.

We missed it. We didn't get to celebrate it.

On that night , you sms-ed me.

You said you was still have feelings for me, and you missed me. You gave me another chance.

Without thinking, i took that chance. Because i was still in love with you.

I really thought i can fix it this time . I was so eager to do it.

And then jealousy took over me. I felt so jealous when i saw you talk and being close to others during ICC. Except me.

Somehow it made me feel giving up on everything because its kinda hurt me. Then i started to not doing anything again. And this time , i know screwed up BIG TIME .

I took the chance you gave me , and i just blew it.

After that we both didn't talk to each other at all.

I sent you a text saying i was sorry about everything.

Yet, you gave me your last chance, which is on your birthday.

And guess what ? I screwed it up again.

Because of my jealousy , i gave up on everything.

Then after few says, you unofficially broke up with me again.

As days passed by, it was already on your birthday .

The day i thought i could get you back and be my close friend again.

After everything, after i gave you the birthday present , you came to me and held my hand.

And that very moment.

I swear to God that my feelings for you was at the top of my heart.

I thought there was hope to be back with you.

My hope was really really high. I thought you could be in my arms again after that.

And when i left. You said you was doing that as your Goodbye to me.

.......................

All my hope, my feeling ... All of it , just crushed like that .

When i got back home , i was crying for the whole night.

Until i cant even sleep till 3am .

Since that , every single night i cried.

I was at my lowest that time.

After that , i really regret for all the mistakes i did. For all the thing i should do , and i didn't do. I'm really sorry.

I know you probably won't forgive me for everytime i broke your heart . But i'm really sorry.

Right now, everything is too late , right ?

These pass few days , i admit i was trying to fight for you back.

But i know that there is no chance for me to get you back.

And now , i do still want to fight for you back. I'm fighting for you back to be as my friend once again . I really don't want to lose you , i hope you understand.

One last thing.

All these time , i do love you.

I never lie about my feeling.

I have been loving you since the starting of our relationship.

But now, we're no longer together.

I want you to know that i still have feelings for you, i still love you.

Remember the promised i made to you ?

I PROMISED THAT I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

That is one promise that i will keep for the rest of my life.

I don't know if it still matters to you or not.

but it still do to me.

Sorry for all my mistakes.

Sorry for all heart broken.

Sorry for everytime i bruise your feeling.

I'm not blaming anyone here, kay.

Maybe it's just fate.

Finally , i wanna thank you for all the memories. I will always keep it in my mind.

Thanks for everything we did in 1 year.

Thanks for being my first girlfriend.

Thanks for being the first one to get my heart.

Thanks for loving me all these time.

I hope we still can talk to each other when our condition is back to normal.

I hope you will have a better time after this. No more hurting. Hope you'll be happy.

I hope you will find / or you already have someone better than me.

I love you.

Thanks..

posted at [9:38 PM]

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03 April 2011

Let Me Know~

I love you....

But,

I know that there is someone better than me for you.

I know one day, that there is someone going to replace me inside your heart.

Let me go if i'm worse enough to be called as a friend.

Just let me go, so that you and him can be together without my interference.

posted at [12:17 AM]

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